Movie Renter's
Guide
Current Movies - Part 7 - March, 1996
By John E. Johnson, Jr.
Ratings: | ||
Extraordinary | ||
Good | ||
Acceptable | ||
Mediocre | ||
Poor |
"The Indian in the Cupboard",
Columbia Pictures, 1995, Color, Filmed spherically and matted to
measured aspect ratio (laserdisc) 1.68:1, Surround Sound, 1 Hr 38
min, Rated PG; Hal Scardino, Litefoot; A young boy named Omri is
given an old cupboard for his birthday, and his mom gives him a
key that happens to fit its antique lock. When he places one of
his toy Indians inside, it turns into a real person, in this case
an Iriquois named Little Bear (Litefoot). The Indian is
frightened out of his wits because he has apparently been
snatched away from his real world of the 1700s and is now only a
few inches high. Little Bear decides to stay for awhile, because
if he didn't, that would be the end of the movie. Omri places a
cowboy miniature in the cabinet, and a whiskey swilling Texan
emerges. This particular cowboy cries a lot. That's why his name
is Boo Hoo Boone. Do you remember, in Jaws I, where Brody is
chumming, and the shark suddenly appears at the surface of the
water? Remember how your popcorn flew in the air? Well, there is
a scene in 'Cupboard where you will experience the same startled
response. I won't spoil the fun by telling you where it is, but
I'll give you a hint. What type of animal did Dr. Jones, Sr. hate
so much in part III of the Indiana Jones series? This is a movie
that your children will enjoy while you try and figure out the
photographic effects.
Entertainment: Video Quality: Audio: Photography: Sets new standards in special effects of this type. Violence: Cowboys and Indians Sex: no Language: no
"Nine Months", Twentieth Century
Fox, 1995, Color, Filmed in Panavision, Measured aspect ratio
(laserdisc) 2.23:1, Surround Sound, 1 Hr 43 min, Rated PG-13;
Hugh Grant, Julianne Moore, Tom Arnold, Joan Cusack, Jeff
Goldblum, Robin Williams; Sam Faulkner (Grant) is a child
psychotherapist who does not really like children, and does not
care for the idea of his girlfriend Rebecca (Moore) being
pregnant, for fear of losing his independence. Amidst constant
barging in from Marty (Arnold) and Gail (Cusack) with their
obnoxious kids, he is very hard to convince that settling down is
a law of nature. A starving artist (Goldblum) doesn't provide the
best of sounding boards for Sam's problems. The movie might be
entertaining for some, but those of us who have children will be
angered by the theme. Even though it ends happily, and Robin
Williams is his usual brilliantly funny self, this one is barely
worth the $3.50 rental fee (get 4 - 5 people to chip in).
Entertainment: Video Quality: Audio: Photography: Violence: fisticuffs Sex: no Language: the "F" and "S" words
"Virtuosity", Paramount Pictures,
1995, Color, Filmed spherically and matted to aspect ratio
(laserdisc) 2.15:1, Surround Sound, AC-3, 1 Hr 45 min, Rated R;
Denzel Washington, Kelly Lynch, Louise Fletcher; Futureset . . .
again. The police are using virtual reality to train the police
force. The VR computer, named SID 6.7, goes amok, and its inner
self becomes real . . . a real person that is. Parker Barnes
(Washington) is a policeman who was in prison, but is now
returned to active duty in order to track down SID (Demolition
Man, anyone?), with computer generated special effects, heavy
metal music, and pointless carnage all along the way. In spite of
having a wonderful star (Denzel Washington . . . this fellow is
going to rack up a lot of Oscars in his career),
"Virtuosity" goes nowhere, and the laserdisc is only
useful to carry your pizza downstairs to watch some other movie.
Entertainment: Video Quality: Audio: Photography: Violence: too much for even the most seasoned veterans of slash and crash Sex: sensuality Language: The "F" and "S" words
"Hackers", United Artists, 1995,
Color, Filmed in Panavision at measured aspect ratio (laserdisc)
2.32:1, Surround Sound, 1 Hr 44 min, Rated PG-13; Jonny Lee
Miller, Angelina Jolie, Lorraine Bracco; High school students
hack into a giant computer system of a corporation that ships oil
in tankers. They steal info that implicates one of the
corporation employees in a scheme to embezzle millions of
dollars. The employee creates a virus that will spill the oil
from the tankers and blames the hackers in order to hide his
embezzlement plan. This movie could have been made so much better
with a good script, but, alas, it is swallowed in a miasma of
computer generated graphics that may have been impressive on the
wide screen at the cineplex, but only make you glance at the
clock in your home theater. Enough of these Internet theme movies
that rely on arcade games to carry the film. Time to get back to
good scripting and acting.
Entertainment: Video Quality: Audio: Photography: Violence: no Sex: pushes the PG-13 rating if you ask me Language: the "F" and "S" words
"Jade", Paramount Pictures, 1995,
Color, Filmed spherically and presented unmatted at aspect ratio
(laserdisc) 4:3, Surround Sound, AC-3, 1 Hr 34 min, Rated R;
David Caruso, Chazz Palminteri, Linda Fiorentino; A wealthy San
Francisco art patron is brutally murdered in a ritualistic
manner. Corelli (Caruso), a local D.A. is assigned to the case,
and discovers that a former girlfriend, who is now married to a
prominent attorney, may be involved. Photographs found in the
safe of the art patron implicate political scandal at the state's
highest office, and Corelli finds himself up to his neck in dark
secrets. He waits at a restaurant to speak with the prostitute in
the photos, and he witnesses her being run down by a car with
darkened windows. Director William Friedkin again shows his skill
in car chases (The French Connection) as Corelli follows the hit
and run driver through the city. The surprise ending comes rather
abruptly, and while putting the laserdisc away, one realizes that
several questions remain unanswered.
Entertainment: Video Quality: Audio: Photography: Violence: sadistic and grisly Sex: explicit Language: The "F" and "S" words, with some other choice vulgarities
"Showgirls", United Artists, 1995,
Color, Filmed spherically and matted to measured aspect ratio
(laserdisc) 2.04:1, Surround Sound, AC-3, 2 Hr 11 min, Rated
NC-17; Elizabeth Berkley, Kyle MacLachlan, Gina Gershon; This is
basically a no holds barred film about young women who will do
anything to get the approval they never had as children, and the
men who exploit them. So much for psychoanalysis. Nomi Malone
(Berkley) hitches a ride into Las Vegas, takes a job in a lowlife
night club, and then makes her way into a big time show at a
major hotel. Show star Cristal Connors (Gershon) takes Nomi under
her wing, but wants something in return, and so do some of the
other members of the team. Unlike other movies that use the slimy
side of human nature sporadically as part of the stories,
"Showgirls" revels in abuse as its anchor. It is
supposed to be dirty. And it is. I have a feeling that this is
the first volley from Hollywood to make every type of motion
picture available at the Cineplex. It is entertaining only
because I have never seen this type of film at a
multi-million dollar budget level before. Hopefully,
"Showgirls II" is not under consideration.
Entertainment: Video Quality: Audio: Photography: Violence: savage rape scene Sex: that's what the movie is about, with frontal nudity and explicit sex encounters Language: The "F" and "S" words, along with other gutter vocabulary terms
Other laserdiscs viewed by not reviewed formally:
"Bad Company": (Be forewarned though; it contains explicit sex.) "Straight Talk": "Priest": (Powerful and moving, but not for the squeamish.)
© Copyright 1995, 1996, 1997
Secrets of Home Theater & High Fidelity
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